Tuesday, December 15, 2009

leuk arrives

We were in Vancouver, staying with Damian and Steph. I was desperate to find a dog. I'd been searching the SPCA sites looking for that perfect mutt... but they're weren't any. I turned to the classifieds, fell in love with the idea of a basset hound. Long ears check. They looked dopey and slow, droopy eyes, probably couldn't walk far. I was definitely searching for low energy. I found a few puppies left from a recent litter... Sure, I thought, drive out to the trailer park in Surrey, it's just near the border - that'll fit into our day of medical apppointments just fine. It was out of the question. I actually cried in frustration patially because medical appointments again ruled our life and partially because no one seemed to understand that I really did love the idea of a basset. He can't jump, he can't swim, he can't get in and out of cars... and they showed me videos to prove it. hmmm... maybe they were right, but in the moment I didn't like them very much for it.

Time for the back-up plan. Maybe a golden retriever? And so, I found one that very day, in Nanaimo nonetheless. The last of the litter, unclaimed by the family that thought they would take him home. I emailed and the they told me another family was taking him. I could call after 6:00 to make sure he was gone. I hate the phone, but I called anyway. "They decided to go to Disneyland instead" she said. What's wrong with this dog I thought. "Oh, um... we were on our way back to Nanaimo, on the ferry.... Can we come and see him?" I asked. "We really are interested." I'd only seen one picture, the little guy looked like a ball of fluff. In the picture he was trying to break into a milk bones canister. He's not going to be trouble at all. "We can go stright from the ferry be there at 8?" She asked if we wanted to go home instead... "taking a ferry makes for a long day". She's right. David looked tired. Making a dog decision after a long day probably wasn't a good idea. It killed me but I agreed on 6:00 the next day. I was skeptical. What if someone took him? I confirmed by email. 'We are really interested', I repeated. I pretty much stared at the picture all day, looked for other puppies in the area. There weren't any. This was going to be our chance. I tried to be nonchalant with David. "We're just going to look" (yeah right). "We won't make a decision tonight." "We're not going to take him if the environment is not clean or if we get a bad feeling."

We arrived. right on time. There were kids playing outside. The house and yard were clean. She had a golden retreiver statue on the landing outside the door. She appeared to like dogs. Seemed like a good start. We were led through a series of halls in the basement to the downstairs kitchen, and three bouncy wiggling puppies were released. All rolling around and playful and cute as anything I had ever seen before. "Which one?" I ask. "The big one is the only one left. It's a male." I tried hard to think of additional intelligent questions to ask. But I had nothing. I might have asked about the parents, about food, about exercise but the answers may have well have been in greek - I wasn't listening. My eyes darted between the puppy and David. I wanted to know what David thought. I caught his eye... "Do you want him?" "Yeah, do you?" "Yeah." No decisions (yeah right). He was going to be ours. It may have been the best moment of the year, maybe my life... We rushed to the nearest bank machine and were back within minutes. Trade. Money for puppy. As I carried him out of the house I wondered where to put him in the truck. Behind the seat? in the back? My lap seemed as good a place as any. The tiny bundle of fur settling in, making himself comfortable, as we barreled down the road towards home. I was in love. "What should we call him?" I asked. The response. "Leuk." There was no debate, no other option presented. Leuk it was. Bringer of light, we've needed you.

Of course the intial excitement wore off pretty quickly as the reality set in. This little dude was a lot of work, he ate everything (still does) wasn't house trained, chased the cat (still does), ate the drywall, our shoes and bit everything with his sharp little dagger teeth. For weeks I was setting my alarm for every two hours to get up with him in the night. Funny though, it was cool and crisp and the sky was clear for those two weeks. Unusual for December. I secretly loved those moments standing outside looking at the stars watching the moon creep across the sky in two hour lime laspe. I had him housebroken, all but a few accidents, in about two weeks. I only stepped in shit on the floor in the bedroom once. I learned my lesson. Puppy whines. Let him out, don't roll over and bury your head in the pillow. We made it through his baby teeth with the furniture intact, and the little mutt became our constant companion. We quickly slipped into a comfortable routine, I'd leave for work in the morning, the cat and dog siezing the opportunity to occupy my spot in the bed. The three of them dozing the morning away, getting up slowly, drinking coffee and playing on the computer, an occasional excusion, a car ride to the store. Our happy little family. 

Friday, December 4, 2009

the elephant

There's an elephant in the room. I'm not really sure how it got there. As far as I can tell the walls are intact, there is no evidence of how he may have gained entrance to our house, or more specifically, the 'living' room. Nonetheless, there he is lounging in the corner, staring at us, big sad elephant eyes and that trunk always searching for a peanut that may have strayed under the couch or somewhere just out of his reach. He's made it clear that he's never leaving. For awhile I tried to just ignore him, but he's big, and he demands time and space.

His name is Leukemia. He's part of our lives. And now, after some initial resistance, mainly on my part, he goes everywhere with us. You see our dear Leukemia never thought twice about entering our life, and from that day he arrived unanounced in the living room, he never even attempted to leave. He didn't try to squeeze out the window, didn't knock out a wall in a mad attempt to break free. I on the other hand, did everything to try and get him to budge. I tried to lure him outside with his favorite, a big chunk of cheese, but he was dedicated to staying. I even tried to hide him in the corner, cover him in a big sheet and pretend he was some weird art project or statue to be revelaed during some special event at a later date. I even tried to get mad at him but no one wants to yell at an elephant. Those eyes just look sadder and sadder and that's not fun.

So in the end I decided to accept him, treat him with respect. Give him attention even, as long as, eventually he would leave in the night just as silently as he arrived. And the life we had before would return. I took the blink of his eyes as a sign of agreement. And so now we live with an elephant.

Actually, it's not so bad for me. The crafty beast has an uncanny ability to seperate his shadow from himself. I get the shadow following me around. David unfortunately gets the full elephant. It's funny to look behind you and see an elephant's shadow trodding along behind. I usually only have to take a quick glance back to see him, or rather, his shadow, lurking in the shadows, just out of sight, slowly sneaking up behind me to better hear a conversation or see what I am doing. This may be a bit creepy a big looming shadowy thing slinking along behind you, or me rather. But I can assure you it's not. He even comes in handy sometimes, an excuse for a shy me to escape from a conversation. Oh, I have to go, the elephant needs attention. He's kind of like a kid, full of spirit and energy and he just can't help following me. It's what he does.

Of course David doesn't have it so easy. Leukemia is all his flesh and bone is the big ball at the end of a somewhat imaginary chain that had been fused permanently to David's leg, correction, to David's soul and being.

Imagine going to the store. It's such an ordeal. It goes something like this:

David: Do you want to go to the store?
Cindy: Sure, do we have to bring Leukemia?
David: Yeah, he's tired today though.
Cindy: That's ok, I'll get the peanuts, you get your shoes on and I'll coax him to the door.

David opens the door, and, as it happens Leukemia bounds out and we have to chase him around calling his name trying to get him back under control.
David: You got him?
Cindy: Yeah I got him.
David: Don't let him go.
Cindy: Don't worry, he's not going anywhere. Get the back of the car open, I'll shove him in.

And away we go smashed into a car that clearly should not be transporting and elephant. David and I in the front with our seats arranged as far forward as possible to give our elephant just a few extra inches of space. Leukemia, oblivious to our efforts to make him more comfortable, extendeds his trunk out the back window, the speed of the car creating a breeze that causes this rediculous appendage to flap in the wind as we speed down the highway.

And so we continue this way accepting the beast into our lives. And now that I've finally stopped resisiting his exisitance, life has become easier. At least for now, while he's behaving. In fact, I can't imagine a day without him, although I do enjoy the days that he spends snoozing in the corner or looking out the window, occupying as little space as possible. Not that I can say I'm in love with the idea of him, or ever will be. But in the meantime I've decided to accept, and if possible, enjoy. After all, how many people get to live with an elephant?

*update*


Leuk and the elephant

On december 4th we brought home a wiggling ball of fur and clumsiness. He does really live in our living room, and digs holes in the back yard. He makes us laugh and sing and dance in the kitchen. He is named after 'the elephant'. His name is Leuk. And as dark and big and heavy and Leukemia is, Leuk is the opposite. Leuk and Leukemia have become good friends. And we're ok with that. In fact, this makes me smile. I watch them tear around the house chasing each other, falling over each other, pretnding to hate each other, then later curling up on the couch together and I realize life goes on, and that we're all just doing the best that we can with what we have.

Interestingly, soon after Leuk arrived he received three gifts. All were stuffed, two squeaked, one had a red hat... all were elephants. The bearers of the gifts did not know of our live-in elephant. So, I have to wonder... is there relevance to this coincidence? I'll leave that to you to decide.