Sunday pictures

A few pictures this Sunday. Since I seemed to have missed posting Sunday photos for a few weeks - ok, months. So, we've been trying to get out to enjoy the sun - it's been so rare it seems wrong to let it pass by unnoticed. It was really cold a few weeks ago but we decided to head to the beach anyway. We somehow managed to keep Leuk out of the water - which is almost impossible - he seems to sense the end of the walk and mysteriously disappears in search of the biggest deepest and muddiest puddle. Anyway at the end of this walk we strategically attached his leash and just as we were headed to the truck David realized there were no pictures with me in them so Leuk and I posed. But the allure of the long grass was too much for Leuk and he chose picture time to roll in the grass like a madman. It made me laugh though. This was the best shot of Leuk and I together. The one of David and Leuk I love because it's sunny and we're at the beach.

 

Leuk snoozing on his chair. I still can't believe he gets a chair. And it has the best view in the house.

    

Leuk checking his facebook. For real. I walked into the living room and found him like this - the screen is even really open to his facebook page too. This dog obviously has some talents he is keeping hidden



Hunt mode.

Mins lately has taken a new interest in an old game. Cap. He chases a bottle cap around the house. When it gets into a spot he doesn't want it to be he picks it up in his mouth and carries it back to the place he does want it to be. Of course he's way to cool to actually be seen playing this ridiculous game with a bottle cap, so we mostly just hear the cap flying around, catch a glimpse of him prancing back with it in his mouth, then when we enter the room he looks at us like... what you looking at? Kinda the look he has in the photo actually.


 

What cap? I wasn't playing with a cap.



Mins and Leuk - I knew they loved each other - caught on camera

 

And finally the game of cat and dog continues. I think they actually quite like each other and I hope to get a video of Leuk pretending to attack the cat, like a cat, soon. 

In other news... David is doing better. He even got out of bed for a bit yesterday. We're both crossing our fingers that the doctors caught the pneumonia in time and put him on the right medication. He says we'll be going on walks again soon. I again lost my breakfast to toilet - but that's ok. I'm used to it now and am giving up hope that the nasuea will actually go away.   



Silent walks

I found a penny yesterday outside the coffee shop where I stop on special mornings for a good coffee and a cheese scone, or sometimes a muffin. I picked it up of course, thinking to myself, “Interesting, I haven’t found a penny in so long. I wonder why now?” That thought overshadowed by a sense of foreboding, because you see, I found a penny the day before yesterday as well, embedded in the gravel of my own driveway. I must have walked over it a thousand times. But the day before yesterday I saw it clear as day, and it begged to be picked up. So I picked that one up too. Two pennies in two days. Very unusual. I tried to convince myself there was just a lot of good luck headed my way, but I worried more that I would need that luck.

And so last night I lay awake watching the minutes tick by in the green glow of the bedside alarm clock thinking about those pennies. Thinking about how much good fortune we've had and how thankful I am for everything. Listening carefully to the laboured breathing of David, beside me. Resisting the urge to leave and go to another room to sleep to avoid the horrible sound of his lungs crackling and popping and his frequent cries into the silence of the night. In pain, or in fear I’m not sure. I decided not to disturb him to find out, because he was sleeping, and sleep is good, I think. I tossed and turned for hours, often spending time laying on my back my hand placed lightly on my stomach feeling the little bump bumps of the tiny life inside me. The life David and I saw hours earlier on the ultrasound screen. In the midst of doctors calling and prescriptions and chest x-rays for David – our 20 week ultrasound. I’m pregnant. It’s real. And last night, the first night that I didn’t worry about that tiny life.

As you may guess, David is struggling. Yesterday he went to the doctor with a horrible cough, shortness of breath and crackling lungs and now he is being treated for pneumonia. We’re both scared. Actually I’m terrified – but I’m not sure I have time to be. I’ve quickly transitioned back into caregiver and I have a feeling that the harder I try to keep things in order the less grip I have on life. Like building a sand castle with dry sand. The more I try to squeeze the sand in my palm to mould it into a castle, a home, a life the more it slips through my fingers. Right now I just miss my best friend. I want him to be better. I want him to smile. I want to go for a walk in the forest after work with him and Leuk. Meandering slowly through the trees, sometimes not even talking. Stopping to look at the moss or the leaves of a plant, just enjoying each other’s silent company and the fresh air. I want to see him attached to the computer staring at his research graphs for hours. I want him to be able to walk without running out of breath. I want him to be normal. I want to see him without suffering.

When I woke up late for work this morning, I pulled both pennies out from my pockets of the jeans laying askew on the floor and placed them in the bathroom on the shelf. I’m waiting for the luck to arrive anytime now.