Last minutes

I think this is really well done. I cried though.

Thanks to everyone that loves their dog enough to show it.

Dancing dog

Leuk has a long way to go...
He would look pretty in a skirt though.

Sunday photo

Helleborus aka Lenten Rose

We saw the sun today. And ripped appart the kitchen. Or further ripped apart the kitchen anyway. We now have a fridge in the dining room, food in tupperware boxes scattered throughout the house and cupboards outside under tarps. If all goes well, we'll install our new tile floor next week. So much for a weekend of relaxation. But having a functional kitchen sounds pretty nice. I think we pulled the wall down and started the kitchen reno over a year ago... so it's about time. It only took us about 5 months to choose the tile, so it seems a bit crazy to think that we can actually install the tile in a few days. We'll see.

Making a bit of progress on the cherry blossoms. I found one that had 'hatched' I think our tree is struggling. David thinks it's just hidden from the morning sun. He's the tree expert...

Surf, spring and Leuk's crow friend



David catches a friendly wave.



My stomach stretches. And my feet disappear.



Leuk's beach buddy. The crow seemed to enjoy the game of chase.



Waiting for spring. Patience.



Sunday photo

Sunday pictures

A few pictures this Sunday. Since I seemed to have missed posting Sunday photos for a few weeks - ok, months. So, we've been trying to get out to enjoy the sun - it's been so rare it seems wrong to let it pass by unnoticed. It was really cold a few weeks ago but we decided to head to the beach anyway. We somehow managed to keep Leuk out of the water - which is almost impossible - he seems to sense the end of the walk and mysteriously disappears in search of the biggest deepest and muddiest puddle. Anyway at the end of this walk we strategically attached his leash and just as we were headed to the truck David realized there were no pictures with me in them so Leuk and I posed. But the allure of the long grass was too much for Leuk and he chose picture time to roll in the grass like a madman. It made me laugh though. This was the best shot of Leuk and I together. The one of David and Leuk I love because it's sunny and we're at the beach.

 

Leuk snoozing on his chair. I still can't believe he gets a chair. And it has the best view in the house.

    

Leuk checking his facebook. For real. I walked into the living room and found him like this - the screen is even really open to his facebook page too. This dog obviously has some talents he is keeping hidden



Hunt mode.

Mins lately has taken a new interest in an old game. Cap. He chases a bottle cap around the house. When it gets into a spot he doesn't want it to be he picks it up in his mouth and carries it back to the place he does want it to be. Of course he's way to cool to actually be seen playing this ridiculous game with a bottle cap, so we mostly just hear the cap flying around, catch a glimpse of him prancing back with it in his mouth, then when we enter the room he looks at us like... what you looking at? Kinda the look he has in the photo actually.


 

What cap? I wasn't playing with a cap.



Mins and Leuk - I knew they loved each other - caught on camera

 

And finally the game of cat and dog continues. I think they actually quite like each other and I hope to get a video of Leuk pretending to attack the cat, like a cat, soon. 

In other news... David is doing better. He even got out of bed for a bit yesterday. We're both crossing our fingers that the doctors caught the pneumonia in time and put him on the right medication. He says we'll be going on walks again soon. I again lost my breakfast to toilet - but that's ok. I'm used to it now and am giving up hope that the nasuea will actually go away.   



Silent walks

I found a penny yesterday outside the coffee shop where I stop on special mornings for a good coffee and a cheese scone, or sometimes a muffin. I picked it up of course, thinking to myself, “Interesting, I haven’t found a penny in so long. I wonder why now?” That thought overshadowed by a sense of foreboding, because you see, I found a penny the day before yesterday as well, embedded in the gravel of my own driveway. I must have walked over it a thousand times. But the day before yesterday I saw it clear as day, and it begged to be picked up. So I picked that one up too. Two pennies in two days. Very unusual. I tried to convince myself there was just a lot of good luck headed my way, but I worried more that I would need that luck.

And so last night I lay awake watching the minutes tick by in the green glow of the bedside alarm clock thinking about those pennies. Thinking about how much good fortune we've had and how thankful I am for everything. Listening carefully to the laboured breathing of David, beside me. Resisting the urge to leave and go to another room to sleep to avoid the horrible sound of his lungs crackling and popping and his frequent cries into the silence of the night. In pain, or in fear I’m not sure. I decided not to disturb him to find out, because he was sleeping, and sleep is good, I think. I tossed and turned for hours, often spending time laying on my back my hand placed lightly on my stomach feeling the little bump bumps of the tiny life inside me. The life David and I saw hours earlier on the ultrasound screen. In the midst of doctors calling and prescriptions and chest x-rays for David – our 20 week ultrasound. I’m pregnant. It’s real. And last night, the first night that I didn’t worry about that tiny life.

As you may guess, David is struggling. Yesterday he went to the doctor with a horrible cough, shortness of breath and crackling lungs and now he is being treated for pneumonia. We’re both scared. Actually I’m terrified – but I’m not sure I have time to be. I’ve quickly transitioned back into caregiver and I have a feeling that the harder I try to keep things in order the less grip I have on life. Like building a sand castle with dry sand. The more I try to squeeze the sand in my palm to mould it into a castle, a home, a life the more it slips through my fingers. Right now I just miss my best friend. I want him to be better. I want him to smile. I want to go for a walk in the forest after work with him and Leuk. Meandering slowly through the trees, sometimes not even talking. Stopping to look at the moss or the leaves of a plant, just enjoying each other’s silent company and the fresh air. I want to see him attached to the computer staring at his research graphs for hours. I want him to be able to walk without running out of breath. I want him to be normal. I want to see him without suffering.

When I woke up late for work this morning, I pulled both pennies out from my pockets of the jeans laying askew on the floor and placed them in the bathroom on the shelf. I’m waiting for the luck to arrive anytime now.

What, it's a new year?

So I admit, I pushed ‘pause’ on life a few months ago. Woke up briefly for Christmas, then back into hibernation. I’ve decided it’s time to participate again. After all, the days are getting longer, I have a new camera that I should actually use, and honestly, I’m getting sick of watching TV. Well maybe not totally sick of TV, cause that’s impossible.

So what’s new in two months?

The house is still standing, my participation in renos at a standstill. The yard looking just about as yucky as it can, just before spring, like that hour before dawn that seems the darkest and the longest.

David’s doing well these days, apart from some compression fractures in his knees due to the long term effects of being on prednisone. His graft-vs-host has decided to be a little more present these days and his mouth is raw with ulcers again. These small things we live with, because they are small. I consider them annoyances – like I can’t cook spicy food cause it burns too much and I have to watch David limp around. We passed the two year mark of David entering the hospital, and I didn’t even notice. That’s a good thing.

Leuk on the other hand has not been in hibernation. He doesn’t really get why there are less walks in the winter so instead of contemplating he’s gone to work on the back yard. His most recent accomplishment: a well formed tunnel leading under the deck. Doesn’t seem like such a big deal except the previous owners of the house used the back yard as their garbage can and there are many treasures to be found and eaten by a bored dog. He’s also destroyed his warm fluffy cedar infused dog bed. Ate all the fluff, that’s not good. He’s also still working on his den under the cedar trees and the ‘Leuk potholes’ are looking more like trenches. He’s so excited when we get home that he’s taken to luring us outside to show us his accomplishments of the day. Then once he’s found what he wants to show us he bounces. Pretty funny. It’s hard to get mad at a bouncing dog, but he did get in big trouble last week when he tore all the patio lights off and chewed them to pieces.

Anyway, life is happy. And that’s all I can ask for at the beginning of a new year.

sunday photo

BOOL! The End!
Finally finished my latest Stephen King book.



the snow and the moon