How is life at home? An innocent question sent by email. I spared them my answer saving it in the drafts rather than sending it at 4 am. I rewrote something more polite the next day... here's what I wanted to say:
How’s life at home? ... Lonely. I’m scared. I miss seeing David. Over the phone I hear him getting sicker and it’s killing me. The closer we get to day 14 the more terrified I am. I think about home all the time but it feels so far away, so distant, so forgotten. I’m tired of talking to people, tired of emailing people, and of tired of trying to sound positive and strong. I feel broken, lost. I don’t feel like going swimming or for a walk or for lunch with anyone there’s something too forced about it. I’m so fucking tired of being fake. I’ll know I'll feel better in the morning, the nights are just so long.
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